Tag: wedding anniversary

30 days has September - autumn coloured leaves on a wooden surface

30 days has September…

…and some of those days will be sad.

It’s 3 years on the 12th of this month since my Dad died, and 3 years on the 30th since his funeral. While I’m mostly able to deal with him not being around on an every day basis, special days and anniversaries still hit me hard. And not just on the day either; I can feel the change coming in the lead up. It probably isn’t perceptible to the outside world, because I try not to show it, but there’s a shift in my thoughts; the frequency with which I think about Dad (even more than normal), the way in which I think about him (how he suffered, what he’s missed since he’s been gone), and how bloody unfair it all is.

Grief is an ever changing beast, and there’s no handbook, so you just have to get on with it and know that it will pass.

Of course September will have happy days too!

It started particularly well with a weekend away in Sheffield with bands, music, friends and fun (and, amazingly, no hangover!) The highlight will be next week, a week in my favourite place in Greece with my husband (thanks to Airbnb cancelling our New York accommodation!), during which we’ll celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary. Sadly that date is also the day Dad died, but maybe having something to celebrate helps to alleviate the pain a little. We’ll also be in a place that was very special to my Dad, a place he loved, so we’ll raise a glass of wine and eat amazing food and remember him fondly. Then I’ll probably cry and fall into bed drunk!

I’ve posted before about my general disdain for September anyway; purely because it signals the end of summer and beginning of autumn (which is NOT something to get excited about, no matter how much people try to persuade me!) but having a week in the sun to look forward to certainly takes the edge off that.

Thanks, as always, for reading. x

A second wedding

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When the husband and I decided to get married in Mauritius, part of the appeal was it being just the two of us. The husband doesn’t like fuss and hated the idea of standing up in front of people and being the centre of attention, so we figured if we put some distance into the occasion it would help.

My mother-in-law’s first words were “I’ll come with you”. To which the husband responded in the negative, which she countered with “I can afford it”. But you can’t put that kind of financial and time pressure on people, plus my side of the family is both large and disjointed, with my parents being divorced and both with other people and my Mom having two step children to boot.

Plus, mainly, the fuss thing.

Somehow, and I’m not sure when or why it happened, guilt got the better of us me and I suggested having a small gathering on our return so that people who weren’t in Mauritius (basically everyone) still got their chance to celebrate. Because everyone loves a wedding, right?

I’m also not sure when or how it went from a small gathering to a renewal of vows ceremony at a hotel; with whole new outfits, a piano player, canapés, a live band and a big ol’ party.

But it did!

On the plus side, I got two wedding dresses. My light floaty one for the beach (made by my Mom) and a proper full on big beaded beautiful ivory gown for the UK (bought for me by my Dad).

second-wedding-dress

How many brides get two?!

To the untrained eye you wouldn’t have even known it wasn’t a proper wedding. We had a proper officiate and witnesses and said words and signed a register. The only difference is that we didn’t exchange rings (instead, during the “vows” the officiate said to my husband “touch Kelly’s ring” at which point both of us and most of the audience howled with laughter at the innuendo!) Everyone dressed in full on wedding attire and we had a bridesmaid and page boy.

wedding-part-2

The husband looked every bit as uncomfortable as he said he would, and told me that he was glad it wasn’t our actual wedding else he wouldn’t have really enjoyed it!

Although, initially, we did it for other people, it worked out really well for us too. Mother in Law looked beautiful in her duck egg blue suit and pleased as punch to watch her only child tie the knot. I had a photograph taken which I never thought would happen – with both of my parents (things were still kind of awkward between them at that point).

Plus, most importantly right now, this happened. Me and my Dad, all smart and happy, having a cuddle in the grounds of the hotel. I think this was the first time I’d ever really seen how much we look alike, in spite of people saying it regularly. He was so proud and beaming.

Having lost him, I think I would look back now and regret him not walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. And although this wasn’t official, it was the time the husband and I shared our commitment with all our friends and family, which made it equally as important a day.

So, happy anniversary part 2 to the husband, and thanks to my Dad for being my Dad.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

Happy Anniversary to me!

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Well, not just me! Obviously a wedding anniversary needs a husband. And boy do I have a husband to big up.

8 years ago I stood on a beach in Mauritius and pledged my love to him.

getting-married-in-mauritius

And I would do it again now. Today. In an instant. He’s my lobster (Friends reference, if you don’t get it then soz, but that’s what Google is for)

This year has been tough and challenging and difficult. And he’s been amazing. He gets me. He understands me (mainly). And when he doesn’t understand, he still knows how to cope with me. Whether that’s letting me get drunk and rant (not big and not clever, but sometimes necessary), or hugging me while I cry, or leaving me to stew on things when he can tell that’s what I need – he just gets it.

me-and-the-husband

The husband completes me. He also infuriates me. I think that’s healthy. I don’t think the sun shines out of his ass. Sometimes I want to punch him in the face. But always with love (so don’t judge me, yeah?!) Yes we argue, and yes he makes me cross, and yes I make him cross, but that’s life. It’s healthy. I don’t hold shit against him, and he doesn’t with me (although sometimes he threatens to throw my shoes out if I don’t tidy up). But sometimes, even right in the middle of a disagreement, I’m already looking for a way out. A backtrack. Because I hate us not being friends. That’s the main thing that we’re both here for. He’s my very best friend.

Someone at work (a boy, obvs) said last week “well it’s only 8 years, so not a massive anniversary”. And I was very vocal in my level of disagreement. Not because I’m married. But because I appreciate the value of marriage. Every wedding anniversary is important. Every day as a married couple is important. Because marriage isn’t easy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not overly hard – if it is you should probably throw the towel in. But anyone who gets married expecting nothing but hearts and flowers is misguided.

The best things in life are worth working at.

So, to my husband, my other half, the tonic to my vodka…

Happy Anniversary sunshine. Same time next year, yeah?

Read more about the planning process of getting married abroad and our big day.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

My first…wedding anniversary

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Another first of another month!

This month the husband and I will have been married for 8 whole years. Wowsers! We have a way to go to catch up with Chris and Charlotte, who I posted about yesterday, but it’s pretty good going for an unmarriable handful (me) and a previously engaged twice commitment-phobe (him!)

There are two things that stick out in my mind about our first wedding anniversary. The first is that my Dad actually said “I don’t know how you’ve made it to a year” with the reasoning that I am the afore-mentioned unmarriable handful. I mean, he had a point. But still!

The second thing is that we went to Marseille

Based in the South of France, Marseilles has an enviable climate and a very Mediterranean feel. We totally fell in love with the place. It’s small enough to get around quickly with a great public transport system, lots of pretty buildings and great architecture, harbours, beaches and we got door to door in 6 hours. We declared it our new go-to weekend break.

Unfortunately, after we got back, Ryanair ceased the Birmingham to Marseille flight route and we haven’t been back since.

My top tips for visiting Marseille:

  • Pre-plan your airport transfer. Stupidly I didn’t, thinking it would be cheap enough to grab a cab on arrival. All the drivers wanted between 60 and 70 euros; no way! So we jumped on a bus, me blagging the husband that I knew exactly where we were going, when actually I had no idea (if I’d ‘fessed up he’d have panicked and just thrown money at a taxi). Between a printed map and some pigeon English to the very French bus driver we established he was only going as far as the main bus station. So from there we jumped in a cab to our apartment; which still ended up costing us 20 euros for what would have been a 5 minute walk, had we known where we were going.
  • Jump on an open top bus tour. This is something I recommend wherever you go on a city break, as it gives you a really good feel for a city and you can then decide which bits you want to revisit. The audio guides are usually pretty interesting too for some history. If the weather’s good try and sit upstairs for the best views.
  • Do consider going for longer than a couple of days. Ours was just a flying weekend visit but there are lots of beaches with watersports and activities in Marseille, so you could easily have a mix of city and beach break.
  • Get familiar with the underground metro system. There are only 3 lines (from memory) so it’s easy to use, very cheap and very convenient with little to no crowding and comfortable air conditioned trains.

On that note, here are a few pics! I have less than I would like, because 8 years ago phone cameras were pretty naff and I didn’t blog or live my life on instagram – if I went back now I’d be snapping everything!

Have you ever been to Marseille?

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

A celebration of love past, present and future

On Sunday, the husband and I were invited to a renewal of vows ceremony. Some friends have been married for 20 years, and they wanted to celebrate and cement their commitment to each other. They’ve been together for 25 years and have two children.

I think this is such a lovely idea. 20 years is a long time to be with a person, especially from a relatively young age. People change and grow and develop – sometimes in different directions. Marriage isn’t just about a fancy wedding day and a honeymoon. And it isn’t always easy, either. A good strong marriage faces challenges head on. A husband and wife must work together to build and keep a strong marriage; especially when pesky kids are involved!

So many people seem to bail out these days; divorces are commonplace within 5 years or even less. I think it’s partially to do with the “want it all” society we live in. If something isn’t meeting expectations then it’s easy to get rid of it and try something else.

It was an absolute joy to see Chris and Charlotte commit to each other all over again; to see the love in their eyes and hear the emotion in their voices as they spoke of what they mean to each other.

I might have had a little cry!

Here are some pics.

Lovely, right? I love love!

Thanks, as always, for reading, x

7 years and counting – it’s my Wedding Anniversary!

Well, not just mine obviously. It takes 2 people to have an Anniversary. And I couldn’t be happier with who I get to share mine – The Husband.Love blocks

Although I refer to him quite a lot on here, I don’t share a lot of detail about him. I don’t really think it would be fair, because this is my blog and my choice to share my thoughts with the world few people that read it. I shouldn’t really drag him into it.

But because it’s a special day, I’ll tell you a little bit about him and our marriage.

  • We were very good friends for 2 years before we got together, so by the time we became a couple we already knew all the bad bits, the exes, etc!
  • We’ve been together for 10 and a half years
  • We moved in together after just 8 months (I didn’t wait for him to ask me, I told him I was moving into his flat – no point hanging about when you know it’s right!)
  • We don’t have, or want, any children. It’s just “not us”
  • We got married on a beach in Mauritius, just the two of us
  • We had a “second wedding” the day after we got home for family and friends (a renewal of vows ceremony)
  • He’s 7 years older than me, but just as silly and daft as I am
  • He has long blonde hair, 2 full sleeve tattoos, wears earrings and looks NOTHING like when we got married!
  • He owns a red sparkly Harley Davidson
  • He’s a MASSIVE music geek, and knows the release year of pretty much everything ever, even stuff that’s not his genre
  • He still makes my heart go boom-diddy
  • He’s my best friend in the whole wide world

Here’s a picture of us on our wedding day.

Us on our wedding day

And here’s one of us taken at Moseley Jazz Festival this summer.

Us at Moseley Folk Festival

Here are 10 of the (many) things I love about him:

  • He’s seen me through some tough personal emotional and mental times, with more to come, and been my absolute rock
  • He occasionally lets me plait his hair like he’s my own personal Girls World
  • He thinks that wine cures everything and always tells me to have one more glass
  • He always smells delicious, even after the gym
  • He’s very very funny and daft and indulges me in silly in-jokes
  • He uses the blonde girl in the orange jumper phone emoticon to represent himself when he texts me, because he knows it makes me smile
  • He’s always got hair product I can borrow
  • He’s tall so I can wear the highest heels, and has really manly broad shoulders to give good cuddles
  • He loves clothes and always gives me good advice when I buy stuff (only if I ask for it, he’s not a control freak!)
  • He accepts me, warts and all

The last one might be the most important of all. I’m not the easiest person in the world to be in a relationship with; I’m very untidy, I have too many parcels delivered, I can be short-tempered and irritable. My mental stability has been questionable in the past, I drink too much and I’m constantly nagging to go places and see stuff.

But somehow, it works. And it works brilliantly. And I hope we have many many more years to come.

I know he’ll read this at some point, so:

“I love you Husband!”