Tonsurephobia – fear of haircuts

Not quite the right terminology for my own circumstances. Mine is a fear of hairdressers. Seriously, I would rather go to the dentist and get work done than go to a hairdresser. One of my close friends is a mobile hairdresser and has offered to come to my home, be really patient, do exactly what I say. But no. No way!

The reasoning for this? I’ve had so many disappointments over the years.When I was 11, I had really long thick hair. But I wanted it curly. So I went on and on and on about it until my Mom gave in and I was allowed to get a perm. Because of the thick weightiness of my hair, the perm didn’t take properly so the hairdresser suggested we come back to the salon to have some layers cut in. And that was the start of the problem.

I never truly loved it after that, although I continued to get it permed and layered until I was 16. Then there was the time I got highlights that ended up a horrible yellow colour. And, most recently, when I asked for a sweeping side fringe and came out looking like a librarian. I cried all the way home.

The truth is, no-one knows my hair better than me. I know that cutting it when it’s wet is a mistake because of how it will spring up once dry. I know I have a cow-lick on the right hand side. And so now I cut it myself.

We’re not talking just a trim. Most recently I went from bra strap length to above shoulder in just three haircuts. I have gone from no fringe to full fringe. I have put layers through the length and the front. I’ve coloured it, stripped it and recoloured it. So I’m not afraid of haircuts. I like experimenting with my hair, I like it to look like I have a style. I don’t just leave it to grow and grow. I just take on the role of my own personal hairdresser.

The results? Well no-one has ever laughed at it or told me I should wear a hat. My husband always checks it over when I’m done and expresses incredularity that it’s straight and level. Even my hairdresser friend looked over my most recent short cut and couldn’t see any major flaws.

I started off last October going to just below shoulder length. My inspiration was Claudia Winkelman, but without the fringe.

Claudia

Then I decided I would do a full Claudia, and go for a fringe. Mistake! Every time I cut a fringe I like it for about 3 days, before deciding that it’s too much like hard work (my fringe hair is too springy and wavy to behave how a fringe should). Meanwhile I went slightly shorter in the length.

And my fringe has now grown into face framing layers, and I have gone a bit shorter again in length. And I like it. I really do. BUT, I can’t help wonder whether I should grow it again? Everyone seems to be getting their long hair cut (most recently Mylene Klass and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini) and my husband actually asked me if I was doing it “to be trendy” (what a cheek! Then again he’s very vocal in his love of long hair, I think it’s a man thing). I’m at a cross roads now – it’s getting to the point where I either need to commit to this length and style and trim it again, or bite the bullet and grow it. I’m all set for keeping it short until I look at old pictures of myself with long hair and realise I loved it long (although it was more of a pain in the butt that it is now; made me too hot, took ages to dry). And also I can’t get it quite right. I’m struggling to achieve the wavy look that I really want, in spite of experimenting with tongs, mousse and curling with straighteners.

Here are some of my current hair-spiration pics.- the worry is separating the hair from the face. I’m never going to look like one of the Olsen twins, even if I shaved their hair off and stuck it on my very own head.

Olsen wavy bob

The colour is what makes this – you wouldn’t see that level of definition on my black hair

Wavy bob 5 Wavy bob 2

Slightly longer – again I think the colour is important (maybe I need to change my colour??!!)

Wavy bob Wavy bob 4

This is probably closest to my look

Wavy bob 3

And then I’d love to be able to do this, but plaiting your own hair is difficult.

Plaited bob

But then I miss this, especially now summer is coming. Accessories don’t seem to work as well on shorter hair.

Bandana 2  Feathers

Hairband 2 Hairband Long hair

Bandana

To conclude – there is no conclusion. I’ve actually confused myself even more. Maybe I should stick with the length and experiment with colour. Stripping the black dye and going for a mid brown might be a place to start…

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