Tag: weight

Bodies change, and we need to get over it!

Coming back from a summer holiday (did I mention that?!); seeing people wearing less clothes than we’re used to on a day to day basis, you kind of realise even more so that people come in all shapes and sizes.

Bodies change...and that's ok

I have to admit that, before I went away, I was feeling pretty annoyed with myself for not losing any weight and not looking the way I wanted to in a bikini. I still felt that way when I arrived and even more so by the time I got home (a week of food, booze and lethargy takes it’s toll on a girl!)

But then, when I rationalise it, it’s pretty daft to:

a) restrict myself and enjoy life less for the weeks or months leading up to a holiday, just to fit a beauty ideal

b) think that other people are looking at me and judging me

The truth is, my body looks how it does because of the life I lead. I enjoy life. I enjoy food. I enjoy drinking. I don’t enjoy exercise!

When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was blessed with a high metabolism. I didn’t gain weight, whatever I ate or drank. I looked great in a bikini!

Now I’m in my late 30s (bleugh!) my metabolism has slowed down and I look less great in a bikini!

But you know what? I’m happier now than I ever was when I was younger. Not physically – I’d rather look the way I did then, if possible! But mentally and emotionally I’m content. And that’s way more important than a change in my body weight. It’s to do with mental strength, life experiences and feeling settled.

In my 20s I was single, riddled with insecurities, coming to terms with mental health issues and wondering where my life was going. Now I’m happily married which comes with the addition of eating out with my husband, takeaways with my husband, drinks with my husband (sense a theme?!) I have more financial security which affords me more holidays (which means more eating and drinking!) I know my own limitations and try not to beat myself up over things. I’ve also experienced life stuff like redundancy and my Dad’s illness which sometimes makes me think “fuck it, life’s too short not to indulge in the good stuff”.

I haven’t quite bounced back from the holiday mind set of eat, drink and be merry. I’ve already made excuses for not going to the gym (the weather’s nice; bad drive home from work; I just don’t want to!). So it’s no wonder the pounds aren’t retreating!

We’re conditioned to think that a beautiful body looks a certain way. Magazines perpetuate the myth that larger women or older women shouldn’t wear bikinis. Yet, in Greece, I saw older ladies, bigger ladies and everything in between wearing a bikini with pride. And why shouldn’t they? It’s hot, you need less clothes and comfort is important. I bloody hate swimsuits; they’re icky and sticky and you can’t tan your tum. If someone doesn’t like how you look in beach wear, they can bloody well look the other way.

I’m as bad as anyone for judging people. I think that’s just the way we’re conditioned. But I’m trying to change that about myself. Instead of looking at an overweight person and thinking they shouldn’t be wearing something, I’m teaching myself to squash that thought and replace it with “good for them”. Because if they’re ok with it then it really isn’t anyone else’s business.

I think I’ve reached the end of my meandering now. I’m not even sure there is an end! And I know I’m a hypocrite, because I’m still sitting here thinking I’d like to shrink my tummy. But I do know that, as I get older, trying to look after my body for strength and longevity becomes as important as weight loss. I want to look and feel more healthy.

But, of course, looking great in a bikini would be a bonus!

I’d love to hear your thoughts; hit me up in the comments.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

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Twit of the Day award…this chauvinistic idiot…

You’ve probably seen the story about the girl who went on a Tinder date, had a great time, only to receive a message from the bloke after the event telling her that she wasn’t slim enough for him to fall for.

If not you can read it here in Stylist magazine (it’s been covered in a few publications)

There’s so much wrong with this story, and twit is too tame a word to describe the knobhead bloke in question, but what with me being a lady (guffaw), and the fact that I was building something of a “twit series” (here, here, here¬†and here) that’s the word I’ll go with.

He’s a twit (spelling mistake, I’m using the wrong vowel) for more than one reason.

a) because he’s viewing her from a purely physical point of view
b) because he admits he had a great time, yet is willing to deprive himself of more good times because she doesn’t fit his aesthetic
c) because he had the gall to tell her what he thinks
d) because he put it in writing, therefore asking to be publicly shamed
e) because he thinks that his opinion will make her change to suit him

My biggest problem with it all, apart from all of it, is the last one. That he probably thought he could get her to change to suit him. Just because it suited him. That she would want to be with an opinionated, small minded, egotistical, big headed TW*T enough to change her lifestyle and looks. For him.

Or, even if not to be with him, then he thought his opinion mattered enough to embarrass and shock her into taking action. He makes it sound like he’s doing her a favour.

Where does he get off?

But, what’s really sad, is that there are women out there who would do that. Women who want to be loved and accepted, and would believe that their weight is getting in the way. That sucks.

If you’re unhappy with your appearance and want to change then all power to you. But they key is YOU. If YOU’RE unhappy. Not your family. Not your friends. Certainly not some jerk you’ve been on one date with.

I love Michelle’s response, which you can read in full on her blog. The very best bit, for me, is her PPS at the end.

“You’re not 5’11”

Roughly translates to “f*ck you, you piece of crap”.

Bravo Michelle.

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