I love you, but…

I don’t know about you, but my social media newsfeed has a lot of people bemoaning the state of the world, the state of politics, putting each other down, putting women down, denouncing feminism and generally just being pretty grotty to each other.

I mean, there is the odd ray of light, but things generally seem pretty bleak right now.

(and I’m aware that I have contributed to afore mentioned misery, before anyone accuses me of hypocrisy!)

So I thought I’d lighten the mood with this article which collates some of the best tweets about marriage/relationships from last year. I can identify with some of them a lot (not saying which ones though, the husband reads this!) but I will admit that the very first one, about the husband not being able to find anything, is probably the bane of my homelife.

manscan-tweet

The husband can’t look properly. He can only manscan. If there’s something in front of an item he’s looking for, like mustard in front of pepper in the cupboard at mealtime, or a shirt tucked slightly behind another t-shirt in his wardrobe, then it OBVIOUSLY ISN’T WHERE IT SHOULD BE. And guess who’s fault that is? Yep, mine. And guess who has to go and find it, if only to prove him wrong? Yep, me!

Anyway, have a read and have a giggle and let me know if you agree with any of them (or what you would tweet about!)

Also, do point me in the direction of any bright and breezy blog posts you’ve written lately to make me smile!

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

And the bride wore…black…

I think I’ve mentioned on here that I was lucky enough to be asked by two of my amazing friends to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. Right from the off it was obvious that it wouldn’t be a conventional wedding, so I was totally unsurprised when the bride told me her dress would be black.

its-a-nice-day-for-a-black-wedding

I was also unsurprised at them selecting a gothic venue which would be a dramatic backdrop to a stunning day.

We had the most amazing time. The husband and I, along with some of the wedding party, stayed over on Saturday night, so were able to get a feel for the venue and the surroundings. Sunday, the day of the wedding, was just amazing from beginning to end. The venue, Ettington Park Hotel, has chapel ruins in the grounds which is where they hoped to marry. We’ve eagerly kept an eye on the weather forecast, hoping for the best but fearing the worst for the end of October. We needn’t have worried. It was a really mild day with a light element of mist that gave an atmospheric eeriness to proceedings. Everything went perfectly, from getting ready, through to the ceremony, through to pictures, the wedding breakfast and the party in the evening. I stumbled off to bed at 4.30am full of happiness, love and joy. It was an absolutely fantastic weekend.

I got to wear a beautiful dress, which was bought as a plain purple frock and then custom decorated with black lace.

purple-and-black-lace-bridesmaid-dress

The husband and I had strong shoe game; check out those purple suede boots! (he was one of the best men – there were three)

bridesmaid-sandals-and-best-man-purple-suede-boots

The timing, the day before Halloween, obviously lent itself to themed decorations which could, quite easily, have fallen into tacky territory. It was quite the opposite. Quirky, with little bits and bobs here and there, hand painted bottles and brightly painted pumpkins in little nooks and crannies, lots of black lace and floral decorations. Everywhere we looked there was something to marvel at, subtle spooky skeletons and bough after bough of ivy with 2 full size skeletons in bridal wear positioned in the hotel entrance.

The best thing I can do to give you an insight is to share some pics with you. Just visually stunning.

Photographs by myself, various guests and the amazing official photographer Sassy at Assassynation

Cake by Little Cherry Cake Company

Aside from the sheer beauty and fun of it all, it really was an honour and a privilege to see our dear friends get married. They’re so great together, so right for each other and so in love that not one person in the room could have questioned whether they were doing the right thing, and that’s really what it’s all about. Take away the beautiful outfits, the gorgeous backdrop and the brilliant party, and their relationship is the same now they’re married as it was before. They have a relationship built on laughter, not taking each other too seriously and mutual respect, as well as adoration, and a marriage certificate is just the icing on the cake for them. Being part of their day was such a beautiful thing and I was so touched and excited to be asked; I’ll treasure the memories of the day and their ongoing friendship forever.

Oh, and I’ll also treasure this, possibly the coolest wedding photograph ever!

purple-and-black-gothic-wedding-party-group-shotPhotograph by Sassy at Assassynation

I can’t think of anyone who’s getting married next year, and that makes me really sad. I love a good wedding!

Thanks, as always, for reading. x

 

 

The Ashley Madison “cheaters website”

Regular readers will know by now that I love having my say on stuff that’s in the media and I don’t feel I can let this Ashley Madison hoo-hah pass without sticking my oar in.

Shame on anyone who is an active member of this website. You’re despicable.

Ashley Madison logo

I’m not naïve. I know affairs happen. People grow apart. People change and sometimes become different people than when they first got together with their partner. People fall out of love. It’s life. It’s a sad part of life, but it’s life none the less. And yes, sometimes a person in a relationship – be that long term or married – will meet another person who knocks them off their feet, with whom the chemistry is unmistakable and sometimes they will act upon that emotion. You would hope that, in those cases, they have the good morals to finish their existing relationship; either prior to anything happening with the new person or immediately after things start to develop.

I also know that isn’t always the case. Like I said, I’m not naïve.

But to actively go looking for it? To sign yourself up to a website that will match you with someone – willingly cheating? Well that’s a whole different ball game. That really is wanting to have your cake and eat it. That’s putting yourself out there as someone who’s morals are so poor that they’re actively chasing a lying, conniving and secretive set of circumstances which can potentially really hurt a lot of people. That’s saying that you’re so open to having an affair that you don’t even want to leave it to chance that it might happen. You want a guaranteed “bit on the side”.

I’m sure there are excuses. “My husband works long hours” or “my wife cares more about the kids than me”. The good old “my partner doesn’t understand me and we haven’t had sex in years”. Yadda yadda. I call bullshit. Or, is the point of this website that you don’t need to make excuses? Everyone knows the score so you don’t have to pretend? There’s no reason to try and explain away your cheating because that’s why everyone’s a member?

Why do people cheat? If it is because there’s something missing in their marriage or long term relationship then get out. If not for yourself, to improve your own life, then for the other person. Because if they find out you’re cheating things will get a whole lot worse. Cheating with someone who you like more than your partner isn’t going to make your “real” life any better.

Your relationship should, ultimately, make you happy. People have tough times of course, but if the bad outweighs the good then it should be au revoir. Better to be alone than trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

A friend of mine (“Hi Cookie!”) posted this article on Facebook today. And it’s true. Even in long term relationships it’s true. I’ve been married for 7 years next month and some days I still miss my husband when we’re both at work. I look forward to getting home to him at night. His texts make me smile. And I’m not being a smug married here. I’m just saying I couldn’t be with him if he didn’t make me feel that way. It would be empty. And you certainly don’t fill emptiness by creating a secret life in which you’re content for a while and then have to return to miserable reality.

Even worse – if there isn’t anything missing in your relationship and you just want something extra, well then you stink. Seriously. Have a fucking word with yourself. And I sincerely hope that your partner sees your name on the list and takes you to the cleaners. Because you deserve it.