Tag: age

Bodies change, and we need to get over it!

Coming back from a summer holiday (did I mention that?!); seeing people wearing less clothes than we’re used to on a day to day basis, you kind of realise even more so that people come in all shapes and sizes.

Bodies change...and that's ok

I have to admit that, before I went away, I was feeling pretty annoyed with myself for not losing any weight and not looking the way I wanted to in a bikini. I still felt that way when I arrived and even more so by the time I got home (a week of food, booze and lethargy takes it’s toll on a girl!)

But then, when I rationalise it, it’s pretty daft to:

a) restrict myself and enjoy life less for the weeks or months leading up to a holiday, just to fit a beauty ideal

b) think that other people are looking at me and judging me

The truth is, my body looks how it does because of the life I lead. I enjoy life. I enjoy food. I enjoy drinking. I don’t enjoy exercise!

When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was blessed with a high metabolism. I didn’t gain weight, whatever I ate or drank. I looked great in a bikini!

Now I’m in my late 30s (bleugh!) my metabolism has slowed down and I look less great in a bikini!

But you know what? I’m happier now than I ever was when I was younger. Not physically – I’d rather look the way I did then, if possible! But mentally and emotionally I’m content. And that’s way more important than a change in my body weight. It’s to do with mental strength, life experiences and feeling settled.

In my 20s I was single, riddled with insecurities, coming to terms with mental health issues and wondering where my life was going. Now I’m happily married which comes with the addition of eating out with my husband, takeaways with my husband, drinks with my husband (sense a theme?!) I have more financial security which affords me more holidays (which means more eating and drinking!) I know my own limitations and try not to beat myself up over things. I’ve also experienced life stuff like redundancy and my Dad’s illness which sometimes makes me think “fuck it, life’s too short not to indulge in the good stuff”.

I haven’t quite bounced back from the holiday mind set of eat, drink and be merry. I’ve already made excuses for not going to the gym (the weather’s nice; bad drive home from work; I just don’t want to!). So it’s no wonder the pounds aren’t retreating!

We’re conditioned to think that a beautiful body looks a certain way. Magazines perpetuate the myth that larger women or older women shouldn’t wear bikinis. Yet, in Greece, I saw older ladies, bigger ladies and everything in between wearing a bikini with pride. And why shouldn’t they? It’s hot, you need less clothes and comfort is important. I bloody hate swimsuits; they’re icky and sticky and you can’t tan your tum. If someone doesn’t like how you look in beach wear, they can bloody well look the other way.

I’m as bad as anyone for judging people. I think that’s just the way we’re conditioned. But I’m trying to change that about myself. Instead of looking at an overweight person and thinking they shouldn’t be wearing something, I’m teaching myself to squash that thought and replace it with “good for them”. Because if they’re ok with it then it really isn’t anyone else’s business.

I think I’ve reached the end of my meandering now. I’m not even sure there is an end! And I know I’m a hypocrite, because I’m still sitting here thinking I’d like to shrink my tummy. But I do know that, as I get older, trying to look after my body for strength and longevity becomes as important as weight loss. I want to look and feel more healthy.

But, of course, looking great in a bikini would be a bonus!

I’d love to hear your thoughts; hit me up in the comments.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

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My blogging experience so far

I’ve wanted to write a blog for a long time. Why? Because I love writing. It’s that simple. It wasn’t to use as a platform for self promotion, or to get freebies or recognition, or even necessarily to engage with people. It’s purely for me.

Which is a good job really, because gaining followers is tough! I’ve been blogging now for coming up to 4 months, and I’ve posted a lot of content, but there doesn’t seem to be any regularity of followers, much growth in numbers or a lot of interaction. Maybe it’s because there isn’t a lot of consistency. I flit from food to clothes to travel to music. There’s not a lot of beauty because I’m not that into it (not to say I don’t wear make up or want to look good, obvs, I’m just not a product junkie). Seemingly it’s the beauty side of blogging that people seem to respond to most. But, because I blog for me, the feel of my site is very much like the inside of my head – all over the place!

A lot of blog advice columns suggest finding your niche so that people know what to expect. What if you don’t have a niche? Or an angle? What if there isn’t one thing that you want to be known for? Does that mean you shouldn’t blog?

Of course it doesn’t. But I guess it does mean that you should be prepared to wonder whether you’re talking to yourself! And that, if you are, that’s perfectly OK.

As a Twitter virgin, I recently moved into a job where I have responsibility for the company social media. That meant a crash course in Twitter, and how better to try things than to set up a personal account? And so I have, unwittingly, found myself trying to promote my personal blog and, I guess, myself. Shamelessly tagging blog promoters in the hope that they’ll retweet me and I’ll reach a bigger audience. And every time I do it I feel like a number hungry desperado. Even more so when my blog traffic doesn’t increase anyway!

The other thing I wasn’t prepared for? How having a blog has changed my outlook on things I do. I take a lot more photographs now. Only last Friday my husband told me off for taking photos of our food in a restaurant. I look at things in terms of how they’ll translate onto the blog. I think about it a lot – way more than I probably should!

My Mom “doesn’t get” blogging and that’s probably the case for a lot of people. I’m sure to many it comes across as vain or self centred. Not at all. Twitter has made me more critical of myself and my appearance. Seeing other Twitter accounts, shamelessly promoting their blogs, obviously leads to curiosity, nosiness and comparisons. Younger, prettier, cooler, with better hair and photography skills. And that’s dangerous.

Beauty

Asking myself, am I too old for this, when the average age seems below 30? Also dangerous, not least because I can’t do anything about how old I am!

Getting older

Forget your age

Anything that brings out negative traits and self doubt should be discouraged, surely? But yet I still enjoy it. Maybe not the Twitter side of things so much; the need for validation and the constant stream of people linking to their blogs, the elitism amongst well established users and the seeming exclusion of newer kids to the block. But the writing, yes I enjoy it. I enjoy composing my blog posts; organising my thoughts into words and articulating them accordingly. So what if my photos aren’t magazine quality and I don’t review the latest MAC lipsticks? So what if I very rarely get comments and don’t really know if anyone is even reading most of the time?

Because, ultimately, it shouldn’t matter. I know, deep down, that I’m doing this for my own personal enjoyment. I write about the stuff that I would want to read elsewhere, in my own voice, in a way that reflects me. And, because I can’t be anyone else, or think in any other way, that will just have to be good enough.

PS – if anyone is reading and would like to let me know, feel free to do so! But if not, that’s fine too; I’ll just carry on doing this for li’l ol’ me!

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