Love is love – whatever your gender

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I’ve been buoyed to read about two organisations who are appealing to same sex couples as well as the more “traditional” heterosexual man and woman relationship in the celebration of love.love-is-love

The first is Lush, who’s Stateside advertising campaigns have included two men and two women. It’s a shame that the first thing many people notice is that the people in the adverts are the same gender, rather than that the people in the adverts are quite clearly in love, but I guess this is part of what Lush is trying to do – make same sex relationships more “normal” by representing them in the public eye. It’s only unusual because it’s unusual, if that makes sense? Were we surrounded by images of same sex couples in the same way as hetero couples – out furniture shopping, eating out, buying a car – then there wouldn’t be such a big deal because the general public would be used to it.

Secondly is Sainsbury’s who are selling same sex Valentine’s cards. Brilliant! It’s good for people – any people – to see themselves represented in society as it’s a kind of validation that we’re ok, we’re acceptable. This is why soap operas try to include minority characters. And while it’s probably not the most difficult thing to buy a neutral Valentine’s card if you’re in a sae sex relationship, it’s a big step for Sainsbury’s as a high street retailer who could potentially face a backlash from the small minded bigoted people who still have an issue with consenting adults who love each other but have the same parts below the waist.

On that note I think that too many people are caught up in what happens between the sheets in a same sex relationship. Just like with hetero couples, sex isn’t the be all and end all. Why are people so obsessed? Why does it matter? Isn’t it more important that people are happy, content, loved, looked after, caring, nurturing and nice to each other? Isn’t that what any relationship is about? Is it anyone’s business who puts what (if anything) in what hole?

A friend of mine got married to his long term partner of 16 years at the weekend. And that’s joyous. Not only that they have found each other, but that society has now progressed to a point where their union can be recognised in law and in love. That they can openly celebrate and enjoy the same benefits as other married couples – taxes and inheritance and entitlements. That they can hold hands and kiss and profess their love to each other in front of family and friends.

Because, ultimately, that’s what it’s all about. Love.

And anyone who is against love must be bonkers.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

The last few days…

…have been up and down to say the least. Mainly down. The weekend started on a high, with a surprise birthday celebration for one of the husband’s old friends. It was great to see people we hadn’t seen in ages, and there was Indian food too, yum!

Unfortunately, from there on in, there was little good to report. The drive home was soured by receiving a property survey which was wildly different to what we expected (see Plans for 2017 for reference) which led to us maturely abandoning our weekend DIY plans in favour of sulking and feeling sorry for ourselves. Spirits were lifted briefly on Saturday night, when we celebrated another birthday, and I was delighted to debut my new velvet flares; I’m nothing if not resourceful/vacuous when it comes to being cheered by trivial things (more about them tomorrow).

A lazy Sunday and roast chicken dinner ended with choosing an early night over washing the pots and pans, which turned out to be a HUGE mistake because we woke on Monday morning – the most evil of all mornings at the best of times – to find a sodding leak under our kitchen sink. A considerable leak, that will no doubt drip drip drip all the way through to our downstairs neighbours (we live in a flat) and piss them off for the umpteenth time since we’ve lived there. So I’ve been unable to use my sink, dishwasher or washing machine until last night when a plumber came and gave an ambiguous response as to whether it’s fixed or not. Sigh.

In the meantime a pile of dirty dishes have built up, I’ve handwashed the husband’s work shirts (and wringing wet clothes out by hand is a workout in itself, I can tell you, and certainly more exercise than I’ve done in months!), and tried to placate the manchild into better spirits with takeaway, beer, wine, fake cheeriness and sitting on my hands to stop myself clonking him on the head in frustration.

On the plus side I scored this little light up beauty from Store TwentyOne for the bargain sale price of £7.

store-twentyone-lightup-carnival-star-lamp

It also comes in white. It’ll look nice in our new home, if we ever get to fecking move…

What’s going on in your world? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

I love you, but…

I don’t know about you, but my social media newsfeed has a lot of people bemoaning the state of the world, the state of politics, putting each other down, putting women down, denouncing feminism and generally just being pretty grotty to each other.

I mean, there is the odd ray of light, but things generally seem pretty bleak right now.

(and I’m aware that I have contributed to afore mentioned misery, before anyone accuses me of hypocrisy!)

So I thought I’d lighten the mood with this article which collates some of the best tweets about marriage/relationships from last year. I can identify with some of them a lot (not saying which ones though, the husband reads this!) but I will admit that the very first one, about the husband not being able to find anything, is probably the bane of my homelife.

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The husband can’t look properly. He can only manscan. If there’s something in front of an item he’s looking for, like mustard in front of pepper in the cupboard at mealtime, or a shirt tucked slightly behind another t-shirt in his wardrobe, then it OBVIOUSLY ISN’T WHERE IT SHOULD BE. And guess who’s fault that is? Yep, mine. And guess who has to go and find it, if only to prove him wrong? Yep, me!

Anyway, have a read and have a giggle and let me know if you agree with any of them (or what you would tweet about!)

Also, do point me in the direction of any bright and breezy blog posts you’ve written lately to make me smile!

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

An ode to the Obamas

I’ll start this post by sharing my Facebook status from 5.07pm yesterday, as that abominable man came to power.

trump-inauguration-status

But this post isn’t about him. It’s about the departing First Family. Because that’s what they are. Barack’s reign wasn’t just about him. It was about a bigger picture. His wife. His kids. He truly was a President to be revered and respected.

Yes there are statistics around how much he increased national debt, and how many bombs he dropped (uncertified, BTW). But we have to remember that we’re not comparing like with like. Every Presidency is different and faces different challenges than the one before it.

Besides, the measure of a man is not just his leadership skills. It’s his emotions, connections with people, and grace. Barack was the first President to have access to Twitter (which should, by the way, be repealed now the orange moron is in charge. Someone put parental locks on and change his password, please!) He came across as likable, intelligent and real. His “bromance” with VP Joe Biden was heartwarming; and the fact that he referred to it in the latter days of his presidency, as he  awarded him the Medal of Freedom, was fantastic.

I love this video. I truly believe he’s a husband first, and doing a job second.

Barack and Michelle ooze love and respect.

I said it earlier in this post, but he’s real. A real person, with a real sense of humour, real wife and kids, and real emotions. He cares. Being President wasn’t a personal victory for him. It wasn’t a popularity contest. Can we assume the same about the new guy?

(sorry, I forgot, it’s not about him)

So here’s to you, lovely Obamas. And your children. And your legacy. You’ve done good. So good.

barack-and-michelle-obama

And now it’s time to go backwards again (dammit! I can’t help myself!)

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

5 things to consider if you fail at Dry January

For many people who committed to Dry January, tonight will be the first hurdle to overcome in their journey towards 31 days of sobriety. Last weekend you were probably full of good intentions and feeling smug for having a booze free weekend. Now reality has kicked in with a vengeance, it’s the first full week at work (unless, like me, you’ve been ill), you’ve missed your pyjamas/lie ins/eating chocolate for breakfast and, truth be told, you bloody well deserve a glass of wine for making it through the week.

dry-january

If you do give in to temptation and hit the bottle, don’t despair! Here are 5 things to make you feel better about not doing Dry January (for the record, if anyone’s interested, I made no such commitment and have been happily boozing since January 1st. Not everyday though, obvs).

In the interests of transparency, I have taken inspiration taken from an article in the Metro – where they come up with a whole 13 reasons! Read the full article here

1 – It’s January

Nuff said. Cold, dark nights, ages til Spring and currently with added snow. Alcohol is one of the few joys available at this time of year!

2 – It’s (probably) unsustainable and unnecessary 
Unless you’re planning on becoming tee total all year, Dry January just confuses your body and liver. I did it once and, at the end, I was drunk and asleep on two vodkas. Much better to not deprive yourself and therefore continue your body’s natural tolerance.

3 – You’ll end up wishing part of your year away

For most people it will be something to grit their teeth and endure, therefore wishing it was February already just to crack open a bottle.

4 – Drinking makes you happy

‘Tis true! Most of us can associate with the warm glow that comes with the Friday night glug of a wine bottle being shared (or not shared, in my case) and the softening of the edges of life as the alcohol makes everything that little bit nicer. Contrast with the steely glare of real life for a whole 31 days with nothing to take the sharpness off the corners. No brainer.

5 – Socialising will become a chore

If you have any social occasions, celebrations or outings planned for January and you plan on remaining sober whilst your acquaintances aren’t you should probably start making your excuses now. Schedule for your dog to be ill or your hair to need washing, ‘cos there is nothing fun about being the sober one whilst your pals get merry. And they’ll probably expect a free lift home.

There, you’re reaching for the vino already, no? You’re welcome!

(on a serious note, if you are doing Dry January, then all power to you, and don’t let my inane waffle persuade you otherwise!)

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

Plans for 2017

Just because I don’t make resolutions, doesn’t mean I don’t make plans. The beginning of a New Year yields opportunities such as a whole load of annual leave to book, as well as a summer of fun, and music to enjoy.

Here are my plans (so far) for 2017.

plans-for-2017

Move house
This is a biggy! We’ve lived in our flat for almost 11 years, even though when we moved in the plan was to only stay for 5. We’ve been so incredibly happy and settled there and never both felt like the time was right to move but now we’re both ready to take the next step (although I’m not looking forward to stairs, I love one level living!) We want a garden where we can have friends round for barbecues and have wooden sunloungers with drinks holders, and we want another spare bedroom which I can have as a dressing room and display all my shoes in an MTV cribs style (yet to be agreed with the husband). Unfortunately we have a very small search area and also need a garage (rarity where we live) so we’re going to end up like those annoying couples on Location, Location, Location who are so picky you just want to shout at the TV that they don’t even deserve a home of their own.

Go to Whitby
Part of my birthday present was a weekend in Whitby, at a future date of my choice. Home of Dracula, Whitby has the stunning abbey ruins, a pretty harbour and the super cool Bats & Broomsticks guesthouse, which is where we’ll be staying. Each room is decorated individually and the candle lit breakfast room is in the basement. It has nothing but brilliant reviews so that’s one to look forward to.

Go to Malaysia
This is booked and in the bag – we fly at the end of April. I’ve always wanted to travel East and although Malaysia has never really been on my radar this appeared as a deal that was way too good to turn down. We’re spending 5 nights in Penang and 3 nights in Kuala Lumpur and it’s very exciting because we’ve never done a trip like this before. Oh, and imagine the food!

See Guns n Roses
I don’t actually love Guns n Roses (I find Axl pretty screechy at times tbh) but I do love some of their songs and the husband has a lifelong love of the band so when they announced a tour with 3 of the 5 original members it was a done deal that we would go. Lots of our friends are going too so it will be a cool day and night out at the Olympic stadium, although the ticket cost of £95 is disgusting, especially when you consider that £9.99 of that is a transaction fee. Per ticket. Bullshit.

Change my car
I do a 60 mile round trip to work each day so the miles have quickly clocked up on my car. I think it might be best to change it now before the mileage gets too high and affects the value, although I have no idea what I want instead.

Get back into blogging
The end of last year was not good for me – I (understandably) lost my mojo and blogging took a back seat. But I’m feeling inspired again with lots to talk about and, having blogged more regularly so far in January, it feels good to be productive again.

Start contributing to My Trending Stories
Last autumn I was contacted on Instagram by a representative for My Trending Stories, inviting me to become a contributor. I’ve seen some people suggesting that the website is trying to piggy back on successful bloggers, but I’m just an iddy biddy blogger with a small audience, so they’re certainly not taking advantage of me! Anyway, it was a compliment to be invited and it’s another outlet to share my thoughts and interact with other people so why not?

I’ve seen lots of resolutions around people eating more healthily, going to the gym, etc but it would be pointless me including them in my plans, because it would be an out and out lie! I can only be who I am, unfortunately!

Have you made any resolutions or plans? Leave me your links in the comments box!

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

16 great things from 2016

I’m probably right on the wire of what’s an acceptable time to still be talking about last year (we should be looking forward, not backwards, yada yada yada) but I’ve seen this post on a few blogs I follow and thought it would be a nice way to look back with some fondness on the year that will go down in history as the worst in my life so far (cheery, no?)

So, here – in no particular order (apart from the first one!) are 16 great things that happened to me in 2016!

16-from-2016

1 – The wedding of the year

The last weekend in October will remain a highlight for many many years to come; as we celebrated the marriage of two of our closest friends. As well as it just being all round amazing, I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid and got to wear the most stunning dress. The day was just the culmination of months of anticipation, planning, get togethers and love. It was perfect the whole way through. Read about it and see pics here.

2 – My first guest post

I was asked by the lovely Estelle from Estellosaurus to write a guest post to be featured on her website. It was truly a surprise and an honour that someone liked my writing enough to put it out there on their own blog, so thank you!

3 – Discovering the Everything 5 Pounds website

This might sound ridiculous, but when did that ever stop me?! One of my work friends introduced to me this website and it’s become a semi addiction. I’ve had loads of stuff so far for not much money, and what’s not to like about that? (anything to indulge my shopping passion)

4 – Eating snails

A bit of a strange one, but when I was in Lyon I tried snails for the first time and REALLY enjoyed them!  I didn’t expect to at all, so it was a nice surprise and something of a personal achievement, if only for the conversational value and seeing some people’s reaction!

5 – True friendship

2016 was a crossroads for me, with some friendship disappointments and hurt. On the plus side, it made me realise just how amazing other people in my life are and brought us even closer through shared experiences and supporting each other.

6 – Instagram

I bloody love Instagram! I like nosing at other people’s photos, I like collating my own photos, and I love chatting to like minded people about clothes and all sorts! Instagram is one of my fave social media platforms. You can find my instaprofile and follow me here!

7 – A new Greek holiday destination

In July the husband and I travelled to a new (to us) destination on mainland Greece, not knowing if it would be as good as our absolute favourite place. But it was just amazing and we had a fabulously relaxed week. You can read about it and see pics here.

8 – Rediscovering our favourite bistro

A late entry this, from my birthday on 20th December, but we went back to a local restaurant which used to be our absolute favourite, and remembered just how much we loved it, They had some problems a couple of years back and closed for a while, and we hadn’t been back since, but it was just as fabulous as we remembered.

9 – Family time

In the midst of losing my Dad in September, I’ve spent some precious family time saying goodbye to him, grieving him, remembering him and loving him. It’s a strange great thing to come from something so horrible, but there it is.

10 – My (almost) half sleeve tattoo

I never ever thought I would have as many tattoos as I have, and when I made the decision to extend my shoulder tattoo earlier this year it was going to just be a quarter sleeve, no lower than t-shirt sleeve length. But I kind of got carried away and it’s now almost a half sleeve, oops! I love it though, and have no regrets whatsoever (good job really, what with it being permanent!)

11 – Inside the Basilica de Notre Dame in Lyon

Our trip to Lyon, as a whole, wasn’t as good as hoped (bad weather and May Day closures being big contributors amongst other things), but the inside of the Basilica was an absolutely jaw dropping moment. It’s one of the most detailed and ornate buildings I’ve ever been, and there was so much to look at and take in. I’m not religious in any way, but I felt quite emotional and overcome with it all. Amazing. You can see lots of pictures here.

12 – A day trip to Chester Zoo

This was just ace. Watching the giraffes for ages was my personal highlight, but the whole place is incredible; very well done, lots of space for the animals, and an all round great day out. Read more about it and see pics here.

13 – Our electric barbecue!

Another slightly odd one, perhaps, but we’re not allowed to have barbecues on our balcony as ruled by the management company, so the discovery of an electric barbecue by the persistent husband brought our world of outdoor eating back! We had some lovely summer evenings in our little space in the sky, and some yummy food too.

14 – Our friends renewing their wedding vows

In August some friends of ours renewed their wedding vows and invited us to share their celebrations in a ceremony and garden party at their home. We had such a wonderful day of love and laughter, which brings a warm glow whenever I think about it. Read more about it and see some pics here.

15 – Coming to the joint decision to move house

Over the years there have been times when the husband has wanted to move but I haven’t, or the other way round. 2016 was the time when both our mindsets aligned, and we decided that yes, we’re ready to leave our flat and move into a more grown up home with a garden and more space. It’s mega exciting and became a huge focus for us at the end of the year as we look around and decide what kind of home we want and where.

16 – The husband

Sorry for the soppy ending but it’s true – the husband was my rock through such dark and difficult times. It wasn’t always plain sailing and it hasn’t been all hearts and flowers (we can both be somewhat challenging, me way more so) but ultimately I know he has my back and will support me, and that means a lot.

Have you done a post like this, or a yearly round up? Leave me your links, I’d love to have a nosy!

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

If I was back at school today…

…and my teacher asked me to write a piece about what I did over the Christmas holidays, it would be approximately two sentences long.

I’m not saying that like it’s a bad thing, far from it!

But it is probably one of the quietest Christmas breaks the husband and I have ever had.

It started fairly strong and sociably with friends, and then we did the family thing on Christmas and Boxing Day, and then we got home after that and pretty much didn’t leave our flat. We didn’t go out and we didn’t get dressed – Christmas PJs were the order of the day, pretty much everyday! Our main achievement was getting through two seasons of Dexter (so good) and getting up before 11am.

Our plans of a late lunch on New Years Eve then going home before the marauding crowds descended on the local pubs went by the wayside, as did the plan B of lunch on New Years Day.

The one exception was yesterday when, after a week of no make up or wearing a bra (me, not the husband), we went out for a couple of drinks and a bite to eat.

And now the holiday is over and we’re back to work. I must admit that the appeal and sentiment of my Christmas loungewear is very prevalent today…

loungewear

How was your Christmas break? Did you do anything interesting?

Thanks, as always, for reading. x

So it’s 2017…

Firstly, Happy New Year! Whether you’re a follower, reader or passerby then thank you. And the customary first day of the year greeting to you.

happy-new-year

Personally I find celebrating New Year a bit odd, even more so as I get older. People attach so much importance to it, but it’s just another day. The calendar moves on but a new year has no real significance, apart from that which people load on themselves. “New Year, New Me” is such a bold, but often unattainable, statement and I think that this is the worst time of year to make resolutions for change.

When I was a little girl my grandparents on my Mom’s side always had a party at their house on New Years Eve, which was also their wedding anniversary. And, come 12 o’clock, we’d gather in a circle, hands crossed, and sing Auld Langs Syne and my Mom would invariably shed a few tears. I never understood why, I was always excitable to be wearing party clothes (I remember a pair of wine coloured velvet pedal pushers with bracers being a particular favourite). But with age comes experience and understanding of love, life and loss. And enjoyment can take a back seat.

Here are the thoughts I shared on Facebook as the clock struck 12.

“Many people see a New Year as a new beginning, but it isn’t really…it’s just a continuation in life’s journey, with the other passengers in our lives. And we need to care for those passengers; be kind, be thoughtful, treat them well and look after them, whilst realistically expecting them to do the same for us. And some passengers won’t be there always, but the good ones who’ve touched our hearts will stay there forever.”

That said, whether New Year holds any significance to you or not, I hope 2017 is a good one for you and yours, and that you achieve things you hope to achieve.

Lots of love, and thanks, as always, for reading! x

 

 

 

Its my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to…

its-my-birthday-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to

Image from Etsy seller Sassy Baby Applique

A slight bastardisation of the Lesley Gore song lyrics, but as I’m not having a party it’s the most appropriate. And I have cried. On and off since Friday. It’s my first birthday without my Dad and I miss him. I miss his daft jokes where he pretended not to know the date or how old I was. I miss how he’d play me up and tell me I wasn’t allowed to open my presents early, even if I wasn’t going to see him on the day. And I miss him phoning me up, and the excitable tone of his voice when he used to say Happy Birthday to me.

I know it’s to be expected, with it being the first Birthday since he died, but I didn’t expect to feel this bereft. This is the worst I’ve felt since his funeral at the end of September.

I’ve had such a lovely weekend too, of live music and old friends and new friends and Christmas market and food and husband. But sometimes feeling happy can make you feel even more sad when it hits.

Anyway, not to be a complete misery guts I’ve busted out some season appropriate clothing – wearing my new velvet boots (present from me to me, via Primark) and my new sequin sleeve top (present from me to me, via Everything 5 Pounds) and I’m trying to have an ok day, even though I’m in the office. I’m also wearing red lippie because it’s fierce and my Dad’s watch so I have a little piece of him with me.

birthday-outfit

I’ve had lots of birthday messages from lots of lovely peeps and I have all my cards and pressies to open when I get home, and the lovely husband is taking me out to dinner.

You know what though? I’d give it all up for 10 more minutes with Dad.

Normal (more upbeat) service will resume soon. Thanks, as always, for reading. x