If cancer had a voice…

…it would sound like Vincent Price in the Michael Jackson Thriller song. Creepy and eerie and taunting.

If cancer had a face it would be twisted and ugly and distorted.

If cancer had a conscience it wouldn’t take over innocent people’s bodies and minds. It wouldn’t cause pain and fear.


(image from Medical News Today)

But it doesn’t. Instead it’s stealth like in it’s progression; silently attacking, spreading, taking over.

Last time I posted about my Dad’s illness I was full of admiration for how he’d continued to live a full life; travelling and socialising and eating out.

Since then his condition has deteriorated fairly rapidly. And now we’re faced with the finality of his last few weeks, as confirmed by a palliative care consultant.

Now talk of hospice admission, sticks for support and a wheelchair is our horrifying reality. Life changing days ahead where things will never be the same again.

I’m full of sadness. Fear. Hatred. Upset. Anger. So many destructive emotions as we try to come to terms with a life without him in it. We’ve known the time would come. It’s played on our minds, silently taunting, for over 2 years now. But all of a sudden it’s really real. There in front of you. Palpable loss. It hurts so much.

Hold your family tight, people. Spend fun filled days and joyous evenings together. Hug each other. Don’t keep secrets. Say things that need to be said. Show you care.

You don’t know how long you have left.

Thanks, as always, for reading.x


13 thoughts on “If cancer had a voice…

  1. Harriet says:

    I’m really sorry to read this. I hope you can spend the time reminiscing and remembering all the good times you’ve had together. Big hugs to you.

  2. Mrs Strawberry Blonde says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I wish you guys all th strength you need to get through this. I hope you get to spend a lot of time with your dad before you’ll have to let him go. I’m thinking of you. xx

  3. unsociablepeopleperson says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and you whole family.

    I lost my Dad to cancer 5 years ago. I won’t sit here and tell you a load of cliches about how it gets easier. It just fucking sucked… and it stills sucks. That’s about the long and short of it. You will keep going though… and you will have happy times again. I promise.

    Big, big, blogging internet hugs and support to you.

  4. joy1975blog says:

    Thinking of you and your family, I lost my Mum to cancer 10 years ago and it’s tough, I have no pearls of wisdom I’m afraid, just know you’ll get through it… try to have as many smiles and as much laughter as possible, little things, I remember my Mums face lighting up as I arrived clutching a massive pack of her favourite jelly’s and us sitting and eating as many as well liked and giggling at how naughty we were being…take care of you xxx

  5. Tina says:

    I am so sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I read your last post and feel for you and your family. Nothing anyone can say will make it easier, but I hope you get to spend some time with him and continue reliving great memories.

    Really powerful post xx

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