A (pre) Valentine’s ode to my husband

Roses are red

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I’ve got herpes

So I can’t kiss you

Romantic huh?

(I actually have got herpes, but in the coldsore on my lip variety, not the downstairs region).

In truth, I think Valentine’s Day is a complete waste of time. It makes single people feel crap, it makes people in relationships who’s partner doesn’t shower them with gifts feel crap (if they’re that kind of person) and it’s just a ruddy great commercial load of balls which creates oodles of landfill waste in the shape of soppy cards, overpriced flowers, and scraggy stuffed toys.

You could conclude from that outburst that I don’t believe in romance. You’d be very wrong. Romance to me is the small things – when my husband watches a film he’s not keen on because he knows I like it, when he tells me I’m his favourite person in the world, or strokes my head when I’m feeling poorly. Those are the things that demonstrate love. Gifts are just stuff. It’s easy to buy stuff. I buy stuff for myself. I don’t need stuff from my husband to validate how he feels or what our marriage means to both of us.

There’s something brash and vulgar about certain elements of Valentine’s Day. Like sending flowers to someone at work – why? That’s blatantly to score brownie points and prove to everyone else how much you love that person. If I don’t receive flowers at work but someone else does, does that mean they’re more in love than I am? A better person? A happier couple? Of course it doesn’t.

Anyway, my husband has the best excuse for never sending me flowers – he has severe hayfever and we can’t have them in the house (a likely story, I know, but it’s true!)

Besides, the overpriced rip off of Valentine’s Day is ridiculous. Why would you spend money on a meal which is usually a “special menu” (translates to reduced choice) in a restaurant that has blatantly squeezed in more tables than usual to capitalise on our need to prove our love, surrounded by other suckers doing the same thing and wondering why their partner has only ordered white wine when the table next to them has champagne?

Not for me. We’ll exchange cards and might even be extra nice to each other for the day (I’m kidding. We won’t). But, as the saying goes, we don’t need one day to prove our love.

And, luckily, I don’t need flowers either!

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

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