All I want for Christmas is a new…big toenail

I’m currently living in the aftermath of an incident.

(building some drama!)


I hate masks. They freak me out. Even the fun ones. I think it’s because you can’t see people’s eyes properly.

Anyway. The husband bought a Guy Fawkes/Anonymous mask around Halloween time. I don’t like it.

Anonymous mask

On our recent day off, he randomly put it on. I ran off. He chased me. So we had a Benny Hill style race around our flat, with me freaking out. Naturally I headed for the bathroom and shut myself in.

Thinking it would be safe to leave after a few seconds (what with the husband having a short attention span), I gingerly opened the bathroom door. The coast was clear. Then he poked his head round the corner, still wearing the blasted mask. I screamed (I know, it’s not like I didn’t know it was him!), retreated into the bathroom, and got my big toenail stuck under the door.

Carnage ensued. I swore (a lot). I blamed him (a lot). I poked at my toenail (a lot) expecting it to fall off.

So far it’s still attached, but feels very loose. It’s turning a rather peculiar colour. I have no doubt that it’s going to fall off and leave a big old ugly gap where my toenail should be.


Last night I painted all my toenails metallic cherry red (it’s the equivalent of turning the radio up when you hear a noise in your car – just pretend it isn’t there). Now it’s started to ooze with goop.

I don’t think that bodes well.

(sorry for the TMI!)

I’m now mourning all the pretty sparkly sandals that I can’t wear (ok, it’s winter and I don’t wear them anyway).

Can you buy false toenails?!

Thanks, as always, for reading! x


0 thoughts on “All I want for Christmas is a new…big toenail

  1. Karen Hampton, writer says:

    Commiserating with you on the big toenail damage. I’m a bit of a klutz and over the years have done damage to various and sundry toenails of my own. It doesn’t help a bit – but – this too shall pass. I foresee further use of sparkly sandals in your future.

    • This, tatt and the other says:

      Thank you Karen! It’s currently still attached. I stupidly managed to tread on it yesterday (with my own foot, whilst wearing heavy boots) and it went quit oozy. Luckily I was wearing a pair of the husband’s socks, so that soaked it up nicely, much to his displeasure!


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