I’m too sad to post as planned today. I’m shocked, saddened, horrified, appalled, disgusted and scared. Yes, scared. I know we shouldn’t say that, I know we’re supposed to be strong and say that we wont be beaten. That our lives won’t change. That we’ll live our lives as normal, and not in fear.
But you know what? I am scared. Scared for the world. Where are we going? What is our future? If we fight terrorism with bombs, retaliation will happen. If we don’t, terrorism will advance.
I’m scared because I think Britain will be next. We’ve been instrumental in fighting terror with attack. So we’re an obvious target.
I’m scared because I go to gigs; I spend weekends in venues that could easily be targeted to attack large numbers of people. That’s what makes it close to home to me. It could have been me. It could have been the husband. It could have been any of my friends. We love life. We dedicate time to gigs and the pursuit of enjoyment. And we don’t expect these pursuits of happiness to limit or end our lives.
I’m scared because I live near a city. The second city. A target.
I’m scared because the Frankfurt Christmas market has just opened in Birmingham and welcomes 5 million visitors over the festive season. And I love it. I visit it.
So yes, maybe terrorists are winning.
This frame of mind won’t last. Even the Facebook profile update, which puts a French flag wash over your image, gives you the option to make it temporary. So how long until we all go back to normal life? 1 day? 3 days? A week?
Until then? I don’t know. All I do know is that it’s shit. So very very awfully soul destroyingly shit.