Single and moaning about Valentine’s Day?

I was thinking about this yesterday morning, and then in the afternoon someone shared this on Facebook:

Valentine's Day

And it’s so true! I don’t complain about Mothers Day because I don’t have children (purely through choice!) And I try really hard not to be cynical on Fathers Day too; I’m just happy for other people who’s Dads are still around and I encourage them to make the most of their time together.

If you haven’t got a Valentine, be your own. Spend some quality time, watch your favourite TV show, cook a treat meal or get a takeaway, maybe have a glass of wine. These are all the things the husband and I will be doing for Valentine’s Day anyway, and we’ve been together for almost 13 years! Everyone knows that Valentine’s Day is a crock of commercial shit, unless you’re in a new relationship and hoping your partner will express their love publicly so all your friends know it’s serious, so letting it define your mood and behaviour is a bit daft.

Besides, bitterness is really unattractive, so if you’re hoping to snag yourself an “other half”, moaning about people who have already found theirs is quite off putting.

I think Valentine’s Day should be for everybody. Love isn’t just for couples. It’s for family, friends, your favourite work colleague or even your dog! So, even if you’re single right now, why not show someone close to you that you love them with a card, some flowers or chocolates? I guarantee they’ll appreciate it, and you’ll feel warm and squishy inside too.

Thanks, as always, for reading. x

5 things I’ve done on the “most romantic day of the year”

  1. Woke up alone, because the husband was away overnight with work
  2. Hunted high and low for missing paperwork (losing stuff in your own home is so damn stupid)
  3. Went to the supermarket
  4. Applied for a mortgage online
  5. Measured up our existing lounge compared to our “new” one (fingers crossed!)

But you know what else I’ve done?

  1. Got excited about the husband coming home
  2. Exchanged cards
  3. Drunk pink wine
  4. Kissed like teenagers (sorry!) > (not sorry!!)
  5. Listened to “our song” on repeat (only because Spotify was stuck, no joke!!)

valentines-you-me-we

There’s no right or wrong way to do Valentine’s Day. If you want to be all romantic and hearts and flowers, then that’s lovely. If you see it as “just another day”, that’s fine too. Somewhere in the middle? All power to ya!

Love is love is love. And everyone does love differently. Us? We do love with sarcasm, fun, daftness and the occasional bit of soppiness. I love and adore the husband with everything I have (except maybe shoes) and I have no doubt in my head or heart that he loves and adores me. That’s not being conceited, arrogant or smug. That’s the power of emotion, the power of cuddles that convey feelings, and the power of never going to bed / waking in the night / leaving home without saying I love you.

And maybe the power of wine!

How was your Valentine’s Day? I’d love to know!

Thanks, as always, for reading. x

 

 

Love is love – whatever your gender

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I’ve been buoyed to read about two organisations who are appealing to same sex couples as well as the more “traditional” heterosexual man and woman relationship in the celebration of love.love-is-love

The first is Lush, who’s Stateside advertising campaigns have included two men and two women. It’s a shame that the first thing many people notice is that the people in the adverts are the same gender, rather than that the people in the adverts are quite clearly in love, but I guess this is part of what Lush is trying to do – make same sex relationships more “normal” by representing them in the public eye. It’s only unusual because it’s unusual, if that makes sense? Were we surrounded by images of same sex couples in the same way as hetero couples – out furniture shopping, eating out, buying a car – then there wouldn’t be such a big deal because the general public would be used to it.

Secondly is Sainsbury’s who are selling same sex Valentine’s cards. Brilliant! It’s good for people – any people – to see themselves represented in society as it’s a kind of validation that we’re ok, we’re acceptable. This is why soap operas try to include minority characters. And while it’s probably not the most difficult thing to buy a neutral Valentine’s card if you’re in a sae sex relationship, it’s a big step for Sainsbury’s as a high street retailer who could potentially face a backlash from the small minded bigoted people who still have an issue with consenting adults who love each other but have the same parts below the waist.

On that note I think that too many people are caught up in what happens between the sheets in a same sex relationship. Just like with hetero couples, sex isn’t the be all and end all. Why are people so obsessed? Why does it matter? Isn’t it more important that people are happy, content, loved, looked after, caring, nurturing and nice to each other? Isn’t that what any relationship is about? Is it anyone’s business who puts what (if anything) in what hole?

A friend of mine got married to his long term partner of 16 years at the weekend. And that’s joyous. Not only that they have found each other, but that society has now progressed to a point where their union can be recognised in law and in love. That they can openly celebrate and enjoy the same benefits as other married couples – taxes and inheritance and entitlements. That they can hold hands and kiss and profess their love to each other in front of family and friends.

Because, ultimately, that’s what it’s all about. Love.

And anyone who is against love must be bonkers.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

Love is…fun!

There’s a lot of things that encapsulate love. The hearts and flowers and mushiness is just a small part of it.

I think that one of the key factors for a long and happy relationship is fun. Being able to laugh with each other and at each other. If someone makes you laugh it’s impossible to stay mad with them for too long. Laughter makes you feel good, so it’s important to do it as much as possible.

With that in mind I found these funny Valentine’s images and cards. I’d be happy to receive any one of these on Valentine’s Day – more so than a fluffy puppy holding a heart saying “I wuff you” any day of the week.

Political and tyrannical (by Ben Kling, check out more here)

Cheesy!

Satirical (although who’d want Kanye’s face in their home?!)

Valentines card Kanye

Simple

The ones below are all from Moonpig, and some oft hem can be personalised, which is always a nice touch.

Observational!

Foodie

And, my personal favourites, punny!

 

What kind of Valentine’s card do you send, if any?

Thanks, as always, for reading!

A (pre) Valentine’s ode to my husband

Roses are red

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I’ve got herpes

So I can’t kiss you

Romantic huh?

(I actually have got herpes, but in the coldsore on my lip variety, not the downstairs region).

In truth, I think Valentine’s Day is a complete waste of time. It makes single people feel crap, it makes people in relationships who’s partner doesn’t shower them with gifts feel crap (if they’re that kind of person) and it’s just a ruddy great commercial load of balls which creates oodles of landfill waste in the shape of soppy cards, overpriced flowers, and scraggy stuffed toys.

You could conclude from that outburst that I don’t believe in romance. You’d be very wrong. Romance to me is the small things – when my husband watches a film he’s not keen on because he knows I like it, when he tells me I’m his favourite person in the world, or strokes my head when I’m feeling poorly. Those are the things that demonstrate love. Gifts are just stuff. It’s easy to buy stuff. I buy stuff for myself. I don’t need stuff from my husband to validate how he feels or what our marriage means to both of us.

There’s something brash and vulgar about certain elements of Valentine’s Day. Like sending flowers to someone at work – why? That’s blatantly to score brownie points and prove to everyone else how much you love that person. If I don’t receive flowers at work but someone else does, does that mean they’re more in love than I am? A better person? A happier couple? Of course it doesn’t.

Anyway, my husband has the best excuse for never sending me flowers – he has severe hayfever and we can’t have them in the house (a likely story, I know, but it’s true!)

Besides, the overpriced rip off of Valentine’s Day is ridiculous. Why would you spend money on a meal which is usually a “special menu” (translates to reduced choice) in a restaurant that has blatantly squeezed in more tables than usual to capitalise on our need to prove our love, surrounded by other suckers doing the same thing and wondering why their partner has only ordered white wine when the table next to them has champagne?

Not for me. We’ll exchange cards and might even be extra nice to each other for the day (I’m kidding. We won’t). But, as the saying goes, we don’t need one day to prove our love.

And, luckily, I don’t need flowers either!

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?

Thanks, as always, for reading! x