Bodies change, and we need to get over it!

Coming back from a summer holiday (did I mention that?!); seeing people wearing less clothes than we’re used to on a day to day basis, you kind of realise even more so that people come in all shapes and sizes.

Bodies change...and that's ok

I have to admit that, before I went away, I was feeling pretty annoyed with myself for not losing any weight and not looking the way I wanted to in a bikini. I still felt that way when I arrived and even more so by the time I got home (a week of food, booze and lethargy takes it’s toll on a girl!)

But then, when I rationalise it, it’s pretty daft to:

a) restrict myself and enjoy life less for the weeks or months leading up to a holiday, just to fit a beauty ideal

b) think that other people are looking at me and judging me

The truth is, my body looks how it does because of the life I lead. I enjoy life. I enjoy food. I enjoy drinking. I don’t enjoy exercise!

When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was blessed with a high metabolism. I didn’t gain weight, whatever I ate or drank. I looked great in a bikini!

Now I’m in my late 30s (bleugh!) my metabolism has slowed down and I look less great in a bikini!

But you know what? I’m happier now than I ever was when I was younger. Not physically – I’d rather look the way I did then, if possible! But mentally and emotionally I’m content. And that’s way more important than a change in my body weight. It’s to do with mental strength, life experiences and feeling settled.

In my 20s I was single, riddled with insecurities, coming to terms with mental health issues and wondering where my life was going. Now I’m happily married which comes with the addition of eating out with my husband, takeaways with my husband, drinks with my husband (sense a theme?!) I have more financial security which affords me more holidays (which means more eating and drinking!) I know my own limitations and try not to beat myself up over things. I’ve also experienced life stuff like redundancy and my Dad’s illness which sometimes makes me think “fuck it, life’s too short not to indulge in the good stuff”.

I haven’t quite bounced back from the holiday mind set of eat, drink and be merry. I’ve already made excuses for not going to the gym (the weather’s nice; bad drive home from work; I just don’t want to!). So it’s no wonder the pounds aren’t retreating!

We’re conditioned to think that a beautiful body looks a certain way. Magazines perpetuate the myth that larger women or older women shouldn’t wear bikinis. Yet, in Greece, I saw older ladies, bigger ladies and everything in between wearing a bikini with pride. And why shouldn’t they? It’s hot, you need less clothes and comfort is important. I bloody hate swimsuits; they’re icky and sticky and you can’t tan your tum. If someone doesn’t like how you look in beach wear, they can bloody well look the other way.

I’m as bad as anyone for judging people. I think that’s just the way we’re conditioned. But I’m trying to change that about myself. Instead of looking at an overweight person and thinking they shouldn’t be wearing something, I’m teaching myself to squash that thought and replace it with “good for them”. Because if they’re ok with it then it really isn’t anyone else’s business.

I think I’ve reached the end of my meandering now. I’m not even sure there is an end! And I know I’m a hypocrite, because I’m still sitting here thinking I’d like to shrink my tummy. But I do know that, as I get older, trying to look after my body for strength and longevity becomes as important as weight loss. I want to look and feel more healthy.

But, of course, looking great in a bikini would be a bonus!

I’d love to hear your thoughts; hit me up in the comments.

Thanks, as always, for reading! x

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels…

…er, except it does.

About 3 years ago, in preparation for my holiday to LA, I decided I wanted to lose weight. So for about 3 months I did the SlimFast diet, I cut out drinking in the week, I upped my exercise. And I used that phrase in my head when temptation hit me; imagining myself swanning around LA being a skinny mini and happier than ever.

I did lose weight. But it was probably disproportionate to the effort I put in. Some days I was exercising twice a day. I was having a liquid breakfast and lunch. And in 3 months I only shifted about a stone.

The truth is I just don’t lose weight that easily.

On the plus side I don’t put it on that easily either. With the amount I eat and drink I should be a lot porkier.

Case in point, you may remember a couple of weeks back I talked about exercising. Well I rejoined the gym, and have been doing cardio and weights, and the scales said I’d put two pounds on! (I know I shouldn’t be governed by the scales, but it’s engrained in all women, no?)

Now I haven’t been to the gym for a week, and I had takeaway on Friday, burger at the festival on Saturday, roast dinner at the pub on Sunday, Thai food on Monday, carbs on Tuesday and curry on Wednesday, all washed down with copious amounts of wine and vodka, and those two pounds have disappeared.

WTF?

Does this tell me that eating out is good for me? (if there were a God that would be true!) Is my own home cooked healthy food making me gain weight? (I can see that going down well as a reason I don’t cook anymore!)

It’s definitely more difficult to lose weight as you get older (for most people). It’s also harder to lose weight when you have a foodie partner in crime and very little willpower.

But the main reason it’s difficult to lose weight is that food is fantastic. I mean, really really good. Like, daydreamworthy good. I bet you could think of something, right now, that would make your mouth water. In my case I can think of many things.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

And life’s too short to deprive yourself.

So I will keep up the exercise and try to cut down on wine.

But that half a stone I wanted to lose before Italy? I might just have to take it with me after all…